Episode 7: "Drop Dead Gorgeous"

I absolutely love beauty pageants. I'm known to host a party every year for Miss America. So when "Drop Dead Gorgeous" came out, I knew it was a movie for me. "Drop Dead Goregous" is a mocumentary (which I love), I say it's similar to the Christopher Guest movies. This movie has several recognizable folks such as Brittany Murphy, Amy Adams, Kirsten Dunst, and Kirstie Alley. Several times, I have made a comment referencing to this movie and Brian has been clueless. Each time I ask, "Wait, have you seen 'Drop Dead Gorgeous?" He has shown great reluctance during these conversations. I hadn't seen this movie in years, so I was a bit afraid that I only remembered the good parts. Well folks, after watching it again several years later, I have confirmed it, this movie is all that I remembered, hilarious.

There are many funny lines and moments in the movie. I became excited as I watched it, only remembering the funny scenes immediately before they were about to appear. I found myself giggling and maybe grabbing on to Brian's leg to indicate his attention as something hilarious was about to happen. My personal favorite scene includes last year's winner, in a wheel chair, and singing in the pageant as she's rolled around on stage. Oh so funny. AND, I'm proud of myself, Brian laughed out loud, a lot. That's a great accomplishment.

Now that he wasn't tortured during "Drop Dead Gorgeous," maybe I can convince him to watch Miss America and Toddlers and Tiaras with me. Wait, what? No, of course I don't watch that terrible show about baby beauty pageants....

"Toddlers and Tiaras" clip on teeth creep me out,
Lindsey

First of all, there is NOTHING creepier than "Toddlers and Tiaras." Every time it shows up on "The Soup" I get a little creeped out and I think there's got to be a CPS agent out there who doesn't have much to do who could just take ALL of the pageant kids away to a better place.

Anyway, "Drop Dead Gorgeous." I admit this film had two strikes going in: 1.) It's about a pageant. There are plenty of things in this world that I am not personally interested in but understand the appeal. Pageants are not one of them. 2.) Top billing for this film went to Kirstie Alley. I didn't really realize this until the opening credits rolled and the first name across the screen was Alley to which I gave a pained grunt. So even though I came into this movie predisposed to hating it, I shockingly must admit I highly enjoyed "Drop Dead Gorgeous."

I am a huge fan of the mockumentary. "The Office," "Best in Show," whatever, I almost always love them. There's something very straight and simple about the mockumentary that lends itself to genius. "Gorgeous" is no exception. You've got everything you need for a good mockumentary:

1.) An obscure section of the population. This time around it's the pageant girls in the Mount Rose, Minnesota. This is completed by some fantastic accent work by everyone involved except for Denise Richards. She's is to this movie what Kevin Costner is to "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves;
2.) A feud. There has to be a feud. Michael Scott has Toby Flenderson for example. In this case it's the rich girl whose mother runs the pageant versus the nice girl from the trailer park.
3.) Plucky comic relief. Even straight, witty comedy such as this has to have one character that is over the top and makes absolute brilliant statements with every line. This time around it's provided by the GREAT Allison Janney.
4.) An anoerexic former champion on the brink of comedic death;
5.) Amy Adams.

OK the last two don't have to show up every time but I'm not going to lie, it wouldn't hurt.

"Gorgeous" is surprising well written, well acted, and well shot. In a world where talentless toolbags like Stephen Sommers ("GI Joe") are not only allowed but encouraged to continue making films, I'm having a hard time understanding why neither director nor writer have done anything of note in the 10 years since this movie came out. This is a little taste of satirical hilarity that I highly enjoyed. B.

Best character: Loretta, Allison Janney
Genius. Allison Janney is GENIUS.

Best scene: The talent portion of the competition.
One girl demonstrates the various barks that different dog breeds make, Kirsten Dunst has the most unabashedly edited dance numbers of all time, and Denise Richards sings to a stuffed Jesus. Amazing.

Best quote:
Amber: Mom! Mom!
Fireman: Whoa, are you family?
Loretta: No, she's just yelling "Mom, Mom" because she has Tourettes."

I have Vasoline on my teeth to make my smile brighter,
Brian