Episode 2: "The Untouchables"

"The Untouchables" is an all time classic. It's action packed from the start and you have to imagine it was pretty shocking to 1987 audiences. I mean, it's not like every movie blows up a little girl within the first 5 minutes. What separates "The Untouchables" from a lot of action movies, however, is the pacing. When I was setting up the GFR schedule and attempting to keep too many of the same type of movies from being viewed right in a row (I know, I'm a freak), I put "The Untouchables" in the "slower action movie" category because there aren't really THAT many big action scenes. But I'd forgotten how well the movie flows between action and drama. Director Brian De Palma does such a good job of spacing out the true action sequences while still keeping the intensity alive through the "slower" scenes. It never seems slow or dragged out. In addition, there are at least 3 scenes that, in any other action movie, would be the most memorable of the movie. They just happen to be overshadowed by one of the best scenes in the history of film.

The only down side to "The Untouchables" is that it kind of makes me want to go back in time, stop the Hollywood clock in 1987 and change the future for the film's biggest stars. This is Kevin Costner's breakout role, the first time he headlined a movie that did anything. He's excellent as the hero Eliot Ness and I'd like to warn him about things to come, like the fact that he'll go from one of the industry's most bankable stars to the guy who spent 180 million dollars on "Waterworld" and one of 5 Elvis impersonators in "3000 Miles to Graceland" (shutter). Like Costner, this is Garcia's first big role and probably the best of his career (with the exception of "The Godfather III"). I'd like to grab him and say, "Hey Andy, you know how you're a great actor and all? How 'bout you do something, anything meaningful in the next 15 years?" Just check out his IMDB page, it's insane what his "Talent to Good Film Ratio" is.

Sean Connery gives us what is unquestionably his best performance in the role that won him his only Oscar. "Untouchables" makes you really regret the way his forced retirement of sorts has come about. I'd like to tell him about "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" and beg him not to let his career end on THAT. It's also great to see De Niro in a role that isn't a washed up cop. It's not his fault, really, that he's been relegated to insignificant films for the last 13 years, I'd just like to ask him to not take so many of them so that he can preserve legacy. He could have stopped acting after "Sleepers" in 1996 and the only thing the movie world would have missed out on would have been "Meet the Parents," which of course spawned "Meet the Fockers" which of course made lots of people commit suicide. (Sorry Jason.) It's tough to watch "The Untouchables" and its stars and know where they all are now.

Best Character: Jim Malone (Sean Connery)
No question about this despite great performances all around.

Best Scene: The train depot shoot out
Again, no question about this. There are several INCREDIBLE moments in this film but the train depot sequence is mind-blowing-good.



Best Line: Malone to Ness: "You wanna know how to get to Capone? They pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way." This line probably won Connery an Oscar so it has to taken precedence over some other tremendous lines.

Best action-gangster movie of all time. A+
- Brian

"The Untouchables" through Lindsey's eyes:

I had never heard of "The Untouchables." Seriously, never. We started the movie and I had no idea who would even be in this movie. It's not like Brian could just say, "you know, the one with Kevin Costner." It did not ring a bell at all.

So we watched it and it immediately got my attention when a cute little girl BLOWS UP! Then later we have this whole dramatic scene with the baby in the carriage. My question is, what does the writer have against babies and kids? Did we really need TWO dramatic scenes with the wee ones? Yes, yes we did, because it got my attention. As I said in the previous post, I will measure these movies by my attention level. I actually could follow along ok. I didn't pull out sudoku, so that's a good sign, right?

I thought I was doing really well with my attention until the very end. I finally listened to some of the many comments that my friends were making with "Connery" thrown around. I thought for a few minutes, "Why in the world are they saying 'Connery'? It's not like Sean Connery is in this movie or something." I listened more to the comments, then I caught on. Sean Connery WAS in this movie. He wasn't in any scenes at the time that I connected the dots. I thought, "Oh, THAT one guy must have been Sean Connery. I like him, he was good." I whispered to my dear husband about this discovery and I think at that moment he may have REALLY regretted marrying me. That's right folks, I watched a whole movie with Sean Connery, THE most recognizable actor in the world, and I had no clue. Also, my husband loves me enough to not announce the ridiculousness in front of all our friends. It's pretty embarrassing and ridiculous, so you can now laugh in the privacy of your own home and maybe laugh at me the next time you see me. I have enough self-confidence, I can handle it.

All in all, "The Untouchables" is higher on this list than "Tombstone." As much as I want to be a true Texan, maybe I just don't love westerns and their accents, I just can't understand them. I can understand the speech of a kid that can't say his /r/, but I can't seem to handle the accents of the cowboys.

I'll take "SWords" for $400,
Lindsey