Episode 11: "The Goonies"

When I questioned Lindsey to see which of my potential list-worthy movies she hadn't seen, "Top Gun" and "The Goonies" were 1 and 1a in terms of freaking out that she'd never seen them. Look, I know my wife. I know and understand why she hasn't seen "Tombstone" or "The Untouchables." And I know humans, so I know why she hasn't seen "The Legend of Bagger Vance" or "61*." But "The Goonies" is A.) an 80's classic, which she is (obviously) the master of and B.) a kids movie from the decade in which we were kids. I feel like pretty much every kid in America born between 1978and 1989 saw (and loved) "The Goonies."

Needless to say I was pretty excited about this one. I even busted out my "Goonies" t-shirt in the ultimate sign of nerdom. (Check that: even nerdier is the fact that at one point or another, I've owned a minimum of 3 "Goonies" related shirts. Boom. Roasted.) And after the absolute DEBACLE that was "Can't Buy Me Love" I was thrilled to see that no one went home disappointed in their movie viewing experience this time around.

From start to finish "The Goonies" is an adolescent males' checklist of Movie Awesomeness. A car chase. Comedic villains. A band of unlikely, underage heroes. A maze-like contraption designed to perform a mundane task. Pirates. Treasure. A fat kid with a funny scream. A retarded lummox who goes from scary to part of the family... You get the point. It's PERFECT.

Is "The Goonies" cheesy? Sure. Is the entire movie completely and totally over the top in every single way? Yup. Do we care? Absolutely not. "The Goonies" is such a classic that you even overlook the editing goof near the end in which Data references a scene that was cut from the final print because Steven Spielberg realized how truly terrible it was. "The Goonies" doesn't take itself too seriously, almost celebrates it's ridiculousness, and yet manages to throw in a TON of truly funny scenes, lines, and performances. There's just too much awesomeness to talk about here. Just get a copy and watch it again for yourself. A.

Best character: Everyone except for the girls. Seriously, who needs the girls in this thing? When I was a kid I couldn't figure out why they put up with the girls but now that I'm older...I still don't get it. They should have left those girls behind at the wishing well. They contributed NOTHING to the treasure hunt with the exception of idiotic screams and looking like Marcie from "The Peanuts." Stupid.

Best scene: The "torture" scene.
This is a no brainer. Chunk telling the Fratelli's everything he's ever done in his life, from pushing his sister down the stairs and blaming it on the dog to the culminating statement below, makes me cry from laughing every single time. Brilliant.

Best line:
Chunk: "But the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa. And then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, and this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life."

Also "Sloth love Chunk."

Do the Truffle Shuffle!
Brian

"The Goonies" through Lindsey's eyes:

Oh I have lots to say about this post. First, I have totally seen "The Goonies" before watching it with Brian. Brian insists that I hadn't seen it before because I wasn't obsessed with it. I couldn't really remember it too well to give all the details of the movie. "The Goonies" was one of those movies that came on Saturday afternoons on channel 27, after "Teen Witch" and before "Lucas." I never had much interest in the movie, so most of my attention went towards looking through my Tiger Beat magazine instead of watching the show. I'm not sure why I didn't care for it, because it totally seems like a movie that I would have loved. I guess there wasn't a cute boy and the girls were totally lame, so it got pushed to the side.

Speaking of the girls, WHO IN THE HECK DECIDED TO PUT THE GIRLS IN THIS MOVIE?!!!! UGH! Worst characters ever in a movie. OK that one girl with the short hair cut, totally looked like Anthony Michael Hall. I think it would be really funny to see that girl kiss Anthony Michael Hall, I don't think I would be able to tell them apart. It would look like he was kissing a mirror. Then the "pretty" girl was straight up annoying.

Finally, can you believe I married a guy that has owned THREE Goonies shirts? The ONE Goonies shirt is definitely not my favorite item of clothing in the closet. Man, when I found out that he had previously owned two before this one, I just about lost it. What a nerd ;) Well, I guess I have no room to talk. I have three bins filled with costumes in our closet.

"The Goonies" was my 4th favorite Nintendo game,
Lindsey

Episode 10: 61*

I have to believe "61*" is the least seen movie we'll be reviewing during the course of this endeavor. (With the possible exception of "Rockin' with Judy Jetson" which, unfortunately, I think Lindsey will have to cut from her list since apparently not even Hanna-Barbera has a copy available.) "61*" is a made-for-TV movie, even if it was done for HBO, that unfortunately just about everyone has missed out on.

This film, directed quite well by Billy Crystal, follows New York Yankee outfielders Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris during their famous home run battle. If you're unfamiliar with this story, in 1961 Maris and Mantle both had a shot at breaking Babe Ruth's record for home runs in a season (60) and essentially chased each other for the entire season. Maris eventually became the champion, finishing the season with 61 home runs, which was the major league record until the Steroid Era brought Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds to the top of the list.

This is (from my understanding) an extremely faithful and accurate account of the events of that season and it makes for a highly enjoyable viewing experience. "61*" is not so much about the baseball action as it is the relationship between Maris and Mantle and the stress both players (particularly Maris) felt through the course of the season. Maris was completely trashed by the New York media and fans who wanted Mantle, the consummate Yankee who oozed charm and charisma, to be the one to set the record. The stress became so much that Maris actually started losing his hair. Yet despite this potentially awkward and contentious situation that the two men were thrust into, by all accounts they became very good friends on and off the field, even living together for a time.

"61*" is a wonderfully acted movie. Thomas Jane is absolutely PERFECT as Mantle and Barry Pepper brings just the right amount of emotion to Maris, a man who was often criticized for being too robotic. This really makes me sad for Pepper, who is one of my favorite actors who never gets a good role (Jane is another). Every time I watch this movie or "Saving Private Ryan" I am left to wonder what his career might have been like had he not been in the Worst-Movie-In-History-Candidate "Battlefield: Earth." I truly believe that took the wind out of the sails of his career, so to speak. *Sigh* Another career ruined by John Travolta. Someone really needs to stop that guy...

But I digress. I could seriously go on and on about this movie. It is my favorite sports movie of all time. I get Sports Tears every time I watch it and I truly enjoy the relationship between Mantle and Maris. For those of you who aren't into sports or sports movies, I would encourage you to watch the movie anyway and go into with an expectation of seeing a great Buddy Flick that happens to develop over the course of a baseball season. If it can make a lifelong Yankee hater root for a Yankee, it can make a non-sports fan like sports (at least for a couple of hours). A-.

Best character: Mickey Mantle (Thomas Jane)
This is really a toss up because Pepper is fantastic as well. But I know more about Mantle and Jane's interpretation of the man is spot on.

Best scene: The curtain call
Call me a sucker, but the Curtain Call and Tip of the Hat in baseball is one of the coolest things in sports. After Maris hits number 61, his teammates force him back on to the field for the standing ovation from the crowd. This, along with his teammates ovation after he fails to hit 61 earlier in the season, definitely bring a Sports Tear to my Sports Eye.

Best line:
Mantle (after Maris hits home run number 59): "What happened? I was on the john."

I didn't even bother to see if I spelled "McGwire" correctly,
Brian

61* through Lindsey's eyes:

Since the beginning of our journey, I have NOT wanted to watch this movie.  I didn't know what the movie was based on, I just knew that it was a title with numbers only.  Titles that are pure numbers totally intimidate me and lose my interest.  If someone tells me to see,  lets say a movie called "47" and it is the best movie in the world, I would never see it.  Why in the heck would I see a title that just has numbers?!  That tells me nothing.  I'm the kind of person that picks up movies and books by looking at the title and cover.  It may be a terrible plan, but that's what I do.  Also, even though Brian hates this, I'm not going to refer to this movie with quotation marks around it.  I just can't bring myself to put quotes around numbers and an asterisk. 

Even though this movie title has numbers AND it's about sports, I really liked it.  I TOTALLY wasn't expecting it.  It really was more about the story of the players, rather than watching baseball.  I even cried, which actually doesn't say much.  I mean, you're looking at the girl who cried while viewing Home Alone for the first time. 

There are a handful of baseball movies that I've experienced in life, you know THE CLASSICS, "The Sandlot," "Little Big League," "Rookie of the Year," "Angels in the Outfield," "A League of their Own," etc.  This is hard to say, but I think 61* falls right under "The Sandlot" and slightly above "Rookie of the Year."  I know what you're thinking, how could an HBO-made-for-TV movie rise above the clever "Rookie of the Year" with that amazing pitching arm?  Well folks, I was surprised too, so you may have to just check it out for yourself.  Let me know your own ranking for those AMAZING baseball movies out there.  Overall, I was able to pay attention the whole movie and I didn't notice the time, so two thumbs up.

It's weird to look at Anthony Michael Hall as an adult,
Lindsey